Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
