Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
