Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
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I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
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The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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