Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
