i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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