Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
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He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
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I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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