Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Terrible idea I love it
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