Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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