turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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