I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
