My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
