do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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