Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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