the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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