It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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