Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
