Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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