You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
