So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
