It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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