Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
