when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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