just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
