Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
