He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
