Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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