to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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