they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
