ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize