We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
