Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I would fuck him just for his dog
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.