If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
