An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize