so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
