Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Ketchup is God's man juice
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
