what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
