party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
where am i from again
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
