i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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