She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
