Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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