Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
