Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
