roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I looked at my own cervix.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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