please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
