if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
