I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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