haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
