There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
