She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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