As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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