he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
