he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
