i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
