I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
