If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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