There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
