What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
