if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize