p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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