I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
