i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
